My Room

            As I slowly turned the silver handle of my door, a rush of feelings flooded my body. I was happy, relieved, anxious, and nostalgic all in one moment. I never appreciated my room the way I do now. It’s a safe haven; It is my field of green by quiet streams. As I anxiously pull the door out to the right, I peer into my room, looking to see if it has changed since I last saw it nine weeks ago. I expected it to be different for some reason, but it is exactly as I remembered.

            I drop my duffle bag by my side and quickly pace over to my Fender Stratocaster hanging on the wall in front of me. Exactly where I left it. I plug it into my Vox amplifier directly below it and begin to play. The tone of my amp hasn’t changed, the settings are just as I left them, but my Stratocaster sounds more brilliant than before. It’s beautifully chimey, singing out as I play the tune “I’m Gonna Find Another You.” It’s funny how I’ve gone from caring very little to very much about this guitar over the years. As I drift into the blues, the Stratocaster sounds better and better to my ears. It is after all, one of the most iconic blues guitars- that of Clapton, Hendrix, Mayer. Still, as I am always finding different types of music to listen to, the Stratocaster becomes limited in it’s abilities to please my ear. For now, the guitar holds incredible value. I look down at my feet and view my pedalboard which has only grown over the years. I remember when I first started worshipping leading, I only had a nice overdrive, and delay. Now, it’s expanded to include several modulating effects, and drive tones. It’s growth has only mirrored my musical expansion.

            The walls of my room still reflect my upbringing. Painted a warm cardinal on the bottom, and beige on top- they still embrace their USC theme. There’s a USC banner above my bead with pictures of Marcus Allen, Matt Leinart, and Pete Carroll next to it. I smile thinking about how much of a Trojan I was, and still am. I went to my first USC football game at two weeks old. My family has had season tickets for over fifteen years. My Mom graduated from SC, and my Grandpa earned his master’s and Ph.D. there. I will forever be a Trojan. Of course I still root for TCU, but my love of USC has been strong since I was born. The Trojan blood in me keeps me from any desire to changing my room.

            On the other side of the room is my desk. It’s more of a contemporary looking table than a desk. It’s relatively barren except for the well over one hundred CDs that line the length of it. All alphabetized. I’ve never truly jumped on board the digital train. I like having the physical copy. I like being able to read through the CD inserts. It helps me understand the people behind the music. What was the artist trying to capture with their album.

            I look at the locker style cabinet parallel to my bed.  On top is my Master Replicas lightsaber. It’s an exact replica of Anakin Skywalker’s saber. The hilt is medal with all the details of Anakin’s and the long tube is studio length, and lights up as if the saber was coming out of the hilt, and goes back in in the same fashion. It makes noises too, reacting to motion and contact with objects. Yes, it’s kind of nerdy, but I’m completely unashamed in saying that I think it is ridiculously cool. It was a Christmas present from my grandpa, and has been an object of conversation nearly every time someone comes in my room. Whenever my friends are over, they always pick it up and play with it.

            Finally, I see my child leaning against the cabinet. My guitar that is far too precious to be left out of its case. My Gibson Les Paul Standard. That guitar and I have been through a lot in four years- church worship, worship conferences, camps, and shows. I’ve never heard a guitar that sounds so warm, sweet, and versatile, nor have I played a guitar that feels so right. It’s my baby.

            I sit on my bed, and for the first time think about how much this room reflects me and how it’s done so in different ways. It’s not so much that I added things to it because I went through a phase, but added things to it overtime because they will forever be a part of me. USC was the theme I chose for my room in junior high. I ended up choosing TCU, but that doesn’t take away from my love of SC. I’ve always loved Star Wars, so the lightsaber is a great way to have a piece of it. Finally, and probably most importantly, the music covers most spaces in my room. From the four guitars, pedalboard, two amps, and countless CDs, music takes over half of my space. And it’s exactly how I want it to be. I want to do music for a career, and thus, it’s incredible to have a personal music studio at my disposal right in my room.

            All of this is gone at TCU. I don’t have my own space. I can’t make my room exactly as I like and make it as reflective of me as possible because I have to consider what my roommate wants as well. Still, this only helped me appreciate my room more. While my room may not be a coming of age experience in itself, it certainly reflects how I’ve changed over the years. My room doesn’t display anything that used to have meaning. It’s all a part of my story, a sort of collection of coming-of-age moments perhaps.